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Ford has decided to honour the end of the Star Wars series with a new model that's designed specifically for people under 30 years old. Accounts for all the social media sites and unlimited data are included with the purchase.

 

It's called the Millenial Falcon.

 

P.S. The new owners won't need a bill of sale because they're entitled.

Edited by mender
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A man buys a sports car and is really beginning to enjoy it when he sees flashing lights in the rear view mirror. He guns it and is rapidly up to 160mph when he realizes what he is doing. He slows down, then pulls over and soon the cop pulls up behind him.

The cop comes up to the window and asks, “What were you thinking, taking off like that?”

“Well,” the man replies after thinking about it for a bit, “a few years ago a highway patrol officer ran off with my wife.”

“What does that have to do with anything.”

“I thought you were bringing her back.”

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Vun day, Sven vas valking down da street ven who did he see driving a brand new Chevrolet? It vas Ole. Ole pulled up to him vit a vide smile.

“Ole, vere did ya get dat car?” Sven asked.

“Lena gave it to me”.

“She gave it to you? I knew she vas sveet on you, but dis?”

“Vell, let me tell you vat happened. Ve vere driving out on county road 6, in da middle of novere. Lena pulled off da road into da woods. She parked, got out of da car, trew off alla her clothes and said, “Ole take vatever you vant.”...So I took da car.”

“Ole, your a smart man, dem clothes never voulda fit ya.”

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Authorities at supermarkets have taken measures to prevent hoarding of essentials.

 

Managers are at the checkouts weighing the amount of groceries being bought then enforcing limits on toilet paper to make sure people buy only enough to do the job. 

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Other supermarkets have placed a one cart limit on TP but people have been seen stuffing twice the normal amount in by compressing the packages before putting them in the cart. 

Signs have been put up to encourage people to follow the intent of the rule rather than their interpretation:

Image result for squeeze the charmin

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13 hours ago, mender said:

Other supermarkets have placed a one cart limit on TP but people have been seen stuffing twice the normal amount in by compressing the packages before putting them in the cart. 

Signs have been put up to encourage people to follow the intent of the rule rather than their interpretation:

Some of those folks must be on the ChampCar forum.

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Reports that John Travolta has contracted Covid19 are being down played by his agent.

“John has chills, they’re multiplying and he’s losing control” Mr Travolta’s agent told The Rochdale Herald’s Hollywood correspondent. 

“But we would like to reassure John’s many fans that it is a simple case of Saturday night fever and he is staying alive.”

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One day a girl was walking down the street when an old man drove up beside her and offered her a bag of M&Ms if she would get in the car.

"No way!", she said.

"How about a bag of M&Ms and ten dollars?"

"I said, no way!"

"How about the M&Ms and 50 dollars?"

"No, I'm not getting in the car so get lost!"

"How about the M&Ms and 100 dollars?"

"No!"

"What will it take to get you into the car?"

The girl replied, "Look, Dad, you bought the Volvo; you live with it!" 

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